Southern African nations are at it again. Nyasha Chingono reported in late May that those “hosting the largest elephant populations in the world made a fresh pitch…to be allowed to sell their $1bn ivory stockpiles”, purportedly to allocate it towards conservation. How they derive this figure is unclear, and the report doesn’t question its veracity. Current ivory prices are around US$400/kg in illicit markets in the East and averaging about $92/kg across Africa (except for Nigeria which has now become the continent’s major export hub). Assuming away the problem of who exactly would buy this stockpile, these countries would need to sell about 10,000 tonnes (at $100/kg) to get US$1bn. If we assume that Zimbabwe, South Africa, Namibia, Angola, Botswana and Zambia have roughly 500 tonnes of legally stockpiled ivory between them, they could earn US$50m. This is 5% of the US$1 bn illusion. It would be difficult to imagine anyone buying the ivory. But even if they didn’t get it right, the risks to elephants from the bombastic rhetoric could be substantial.